Things get better every day.

How can I explain the way I feel after everything that happened today? Brittany bought her plane tickets today which make me SO happy to know that she's coming for sure. I feel like every day we grow closer. Sure, we have our fights from time to time, but we talk them out and get closer still.

I've got a lot of things planned for her when she gets here. A lot of people for her to meet, a lot of places for her to see. I think it's very important for her to know why I am the way I am, and where I come from and the people who have an impact on my life on a day-to-day basis.

I'm ready for her to be here, to be "home" and to spend time with me in our future home together as will be the norm in a few months.

37 days until the love of my life comes.

<3>

muffin

Another night in the books.

What could I possibly say about today?

I woke up this morning and went straight to best buy to exchange out my computer monitor, the old one was acting up on me. The rest of the day was pretty simple, talked to Brittany like I always do and enjoy every moment just like I ALWAYS do.

So I know it's September but I already know what I'm getting Brittany for Christmas. I can't wait to see her when I can finally show her what I'm keeping such a secret. Even though I know she hates secrets and surprises I know that this will be one that she's more than happy to wait for.

The days keep getting shorter--which is good. Seems like today just started and it's already tomorrow already. Every day passing means that she's that much closer.

I made my wish tonight at 11:11 like I always do, Brittany didn't make it to 11:11 i believe she fell asleep around...10 her time lol.

Anyways I think thats a wrap for tonight--I'm watching dirty jobs because I can't sleep--surprise surprise!

Jason

ps. brittany is the love of my life, now, tomorrow, forever.

Late at night

9/22--2:48am

Once again it's nearly 3 in the morning can I cannot sleep at all. The thoughts of my baby linger on my mind every second of every day, why should bed time be any different?

I realized tonight that the hardest part of relationship that Brittany and I have built together is the impact of the distance on our hearts. I can't help but feel like I'm hurting her as the days go on because I can't be there to hold her like she needs.

The only thing I can do is tell her that I love her with all of my heart and that every bit of pain we are putting ourselves through is worth the amazing future we are going to have together.

As for me, I miss her terribly. I do everything I can to remind me of her every chance I have. When I drink a SODA I think of a POP, when I laugh I think about her hilarious laughing that I make fun of all the time, and every day when I wake up I smell her because her perfume bottle is always right next to my bed. Think I'm in love with this girl? I sure as hell do, and I couldn't possibly ask for anything more than what has already been given to me, she's perfect.

I do have a question though, and this has really stumped me. Why is it that I always have such a hard time remembering things but I can still tell you exactly what Brittany was wearing the day that I met her? I don't think I'll ever know the answer to that but I know that it means she is my something special--My one in a million.

In 44 days I'll have my world back in my arms.

Time for bed...well at least time to lay down and watch Cash Cab on discovery channel.

Where to start.

Love isn't always the easiest thing to find.

From what I've seen around me even if someone finds that one special person they love, keeping that love can sometimes be harder.

With her, that's not the case.

April 18th my life changed forever. How could someone so special come into my life seemingly out of thin air? My answer...who cares? Because the love that I have found in Brittany Marie Beaupre is so amazing that I want the whole world to know. What makes this girl even more special is she's waiting for me...for ME! As unreal as that sounds, I'm very happy that it is the truth.

It's been 24 days since I held her tight, outside her house and cried my eyes out. She saw, her parents saw, her sister saw, her neighbors saw...but I don't care. My time spent with her is...incredible to say the least. Waking up every day for 2 weeks knowing that she was only 3-4 miles away. Being able to go see her whenever my lazy ass would finally crawl out of bed...I miss it. I miss her so much that it's almost impossible to really get the picture across through words, but she understands exactly how it feels.

It hurts me to know that I can't be there. To know that she is hurting that I'm so far away. To know that I can't hold her until she falls asleep every night, and be there whenever she kicks me during a nightmare. But I know all this hurt is worth it. Every ounce of sadness that I feel day in and day out is worth the future that her and I are going to have together. I used to be afraid of such a strong committment but its amazing what that one special person will do for you.

9/21. 12:46am

I got to see Brittany today. Through a webcam that I bought her months ago. I still remember calling the store to buy it, telling them that my girlfriend would be picking it up later. I had no idea that they would give her the hold slip that said just that. Embarassed to say the least, she saw what was written and joked on me about it, but I didn't care.

Seeing her sitting in her room, a room I have been in several times, made me so happy I almost couldn't contain myself. I really want that to be a daily occurance because the more we can see of eachother, the easier this 638 miles between us will be to cope with.

Brittany-

I love you more than I'll ever be able to show you but I promise that I'll do everything in my power to help you understand. You are my one in a million. The one that I'm meant to be with and I WILL be with you. I think you fell asleep on me because you quit texting--happens quite often but it's cute everynight.

I know this distance is hard on you but we've done this twice already. From April to June, from June to August. From August to November.

I can't wait to introduce you to everyone, they ask every day about how you are doing.

I'm going to post something to this blog every night, just like I hope you are writing to me in your book every night.

Sweet dreams, and try to not make me turn out to be an asshole in this one!

Your muffin,
Jason Michael Ivey