Where to start.

Love isn't always the easiest thing to find.

From what I've seen around me even if someone finds that one special person they love, keeping that love can sometimes be harder.

With her, that's not the case.

April 18th my life changed forever. How could someone so special come into my life seemingly out of thin air? My answer...who cares? Because the love that I have found in Brittany Marie Beaupre is so amazing that I want the whole world to know. What makes this girl even more special is she's waiting for me...for ME! As unreal as that sounds, I'm very happy that it is the truth.

It's been 24 days since I held her tight, outside her house and cried my eyes out. She saw, her parents saw, her sister saw, her neighbors saw...but I don't care. My time spent with her is...incredible to say the least. Waking up every day for 2 weeks knowing that she was only 3-4 miles away. Being able to go see her whenever my lazy ass would finally crawl out of bed...I miss it. I miss her so much that it's almost impossible to really get the picture across through words, but she understands exactly how it feels.

It hurts me to know that I can't be there. To know that she is hurting that I'm so far away. To know that I can't hold her until she falls asleep every night, and be there whenever she kicks me during a nightmare. But I know all this hurt is worth it. Every ounce of sadness that I feel day in and day out is worth the future that her and I are going to have together. I used to be afraid of such a strong committment but its amazing what that one special person will do for you.

9/21. 12:46am

I got to see Brittany today. Through a webcam that I bought her months ago. I still remember calling the store to buy it, telling them that my girlfriend would be picking it up later. I had no idea that they would give her the hold slip that said just that. Embarassed to say the least, she saw what was written and joked on me about it, but I didn't care.

Seeing her sitting in her room, a room I have been in several times, made me so happy I almost couldn't contain myself. I really want that to be a daily occurance because the more we can see of eachother, the easier this 638 miles between us will be to cope with.

Brittany-

I love you more than I'll ever be able to show you but I promise that I'll do everything in my power to help you understand. You are my one in a million. The one that I'm meant to be with and I WILL be with you. I think you fell asleep on me because you quit texting--happens quite often but it's cute everynight.

I know this distance is hard on you but we've done this twice already. From April to June, from June to August. From August to November.

I can't wait to introduce you to everyone, they ask every day about how you are doing.

I'm going to post something to this blog every night, just like I hope you are writing to me in your book every night.

Sweet dreams, and try to not make me turn out to be an asshole in this one!

Your muffin,
Jason Michael Ivey